


You Can’t See Me, Can You?

by Firenza



Series: Septic Egos Oneshots [10]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Coma, Half vent, One-Shot, first person POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-16 19:25:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16501289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firenza/pseuds/Firenza
Summary: Watching the world pass by you as you can only stare on like a ghost is exhausting. But sometimes you have no choice.





	You Can’t See Me, Can You?

You can’t see me, can you? I’m here. I promise. I’m calling your names but you can’t hear me either. I must be invisible. A detached spirit floating around while my body slowly withers away. A ghost in everything but death.

I promise that I’m here. You keep asking me if I can hear you. The answer is yes, yes I can. I can do more than hear you. I can see you too. But I can’t touch you, or smell the new cologne I know you bought yesterday because of your shows. I’m here, even if you can’t see me.

Have you forgotten that I used to be someone other than just another casualty in this war we’re fighting? That’s all I feel that I am. No one to anything but the damn story. Fuck the story. I would destroy everything if it meant that I could escape this hell.

I don’t mean that. I want to keep you guys alive, but for me, this isn’t living. While my body slowly dies, asleep on that cot, I watch over you all and silently wish that you could hear my voice once again.

I’m always there, always watching as you go about your lives. I watched as Chase finally got to spend a weekend with his kids; as Henrik finally got that promotion he’s been waiting months for; as you all celebrated Jameson’s birthday instead of cowering in fear. I’m proud. Don’t fuel him any longer.

I was there at Marvin’s first show; I was there when Jackie triumphed over his first super-villain. I’ve been there all of the time, supporting from the sidelines, and yet, you have no idea that I’m there.

The only one who can see me is Anti, and he isn’t good company. Anytime he visits it’s all mockery. Of me, of you, of the community. I’ve given up on trying to get him to leave. It only makes things worse in the end.

I can see myself in the mirror, however, but I don’t look like myself anymore. Sunken cheeks and hollow eyes have turned me into some sort of horror movie monster. But it isn’t just that. I don’t see that reflection as _myself_. It’s someone else, someone new that’s replaced me.

The same goes for my name. _Sean... Jack…_ I hear it almost everyday from you as you talk to my silent body about your day to day worries. I’ll answer if called by them, but they don’t feel like they’re my own name any more.

You can’t see me, can you? I really wish that you could.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written a few days ago after I had a pretty rough day. After an even worse day, I started doing okay. Because of that I debated posting this but I do want to share it. There also is no editing on this whatsoever, so please forgive me for that.


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